Recalling family ties

There is a feeling, like a spring in the depths of my soul, flowing endlessly, spitting endlessly, running forever and ever, to water every grass and tree in my life journey… There is a person, like the eternal god, who will never die in your heart and mind.
— inscription
“Wow…” With a loud cry, the whole family’s suspense was relieved. I was born. Before that, the doctor told my family that this is an unsound fetus, it’s best to abolish it, but because my mother is very old and has been married for many years before conceiving a baby, everyone is hesitant, is a grandfather’s sentence, “No matter what kind of child is born, it must be born.” Let everybody calm down like eating a heart-setting pill. It was not until this cry brought out a healthy, tender child that everyone really laughed with joy.
“Grandpa, here I am!” Every time I walk in the yard, I can’t wait to shout out, because I want to see my grandfather soon.
My grandfather is tall and strong, but he has a beer belly better than watermelon; my grandfather is a small flat head, there is a black and white hybridization house, the face of meat every time he laughs, it is the same kind smile as most elders; my grandfather, smoking like life, right index finger and middle finger, has been smoked yellow. And the “permanent incense” is installed, and how much soap can’t wash out that smell. It was a pair of cocoon-covered hands that were extremely rough, but in my eyes, it was the warmest and thickest hand in the world.
Grandpa loves smoking, but I always think it’s a rumor. After all, he never smoked a cigarette in front of me. Some of the smoke in the house is just that if there is no smoke.
Grandpa is an all-round player, it seems that he will not, like: repair electrical appliances, repair water pipes, repair bicycles, repair houses… He came in all sorts of ways. Whatever the neighbor or friend asked him to do, he turned around and took the tools and left without saying a word. Once repaired, they never get paid. I think that’s the first thing Grandpa taught me – to be helpful and not to ask for anything in return.
Speaking of foreign customs, that is not entirely true. When Grandpa is elegant, he still gives people the illusion that he is a man full of language and ink, especially when playing chess.
I remember once, my grandfather took me to see him play chess, and repeatedly told me not to quarrel with him. At the beginning, he slowly entered the state, just like a stone carving, except for the eyebrow, a moment of locking, a moment of stretching, people are uncertain. Although I don’t know chess, I can also see that grandpa and his chess friends play happily with each other. I guess that’s why so many players like to find grandpa to play chess. Not only because the chess is good, but also because Grandpa knows how to share this share – quiet.
“Laoding, fresh pork cuts two kilos for you!” I’m familiar with such Nanchang dialect cries. That’s what Uncle Meat Seller usually calls. He must have seen Grandpa. Grandpa is his regular customer, and he sells two or three kilograms at a time. Grandpa loves meat very much. Every time I went, he would make a big bowl of red-roasted meat. He always said, “Children grow up and eat more meat.” Grandpa knew that I like lean meat, so he put fat into his bowl every time. Looking at me eating, he seemed happier than the man who ate me, and his eyes were narrowed with laughter.
Memories of childhood are inseparable from grandpa’s. I was brought up by my grandfather. When he went there, I went there. At that time, Grandpa would go to Zhongshan Bridge every afternoon to hang out and play with the old people of his age, chatting together, but those topics always revolved around me, just like this granddaughter was the treasure he discovered after years of excavation. Maybe it was infected by my grandpa. Since I was a child, I didn’t recognize students and liked making friends.
I thought it would last forever. However, the world is often not what people want, grandpa suffered from advanced gastric cancer. Watching him lose weight day by day, without beer belly and fat all over, he will never bulge up a small bag with laughter, some of which are only skin and bones. It’s been a long time in hospital, and I always believe everything will be okay.
That afternoon, I came to see my grandpa after school and said that I wanted to eat his roast pork. My grandpa also promised to eat it for me as soon as he got well. I went out to play with my friends in the yard for a while. When I came back, I heard a loud cry before entering the door. I rushed into the house and saw a grandfather who was closed-eyed and could not wake up, no matter how shaking he was. However, I did not cry, I do not know why, looking at that motionless body, I, silent, do not say, do not cry.
In the evening, almost all the relatives came, placing the sadness I could not understand. That night, I was sitting in a chair, not sleeping, just dazed. The next few days, I was the first to wake up, the first to give him perfume, tell him, I think he, I am angry that he did not fulfill his promise.
A few days later, in the spiritual hall, I listened to the meaningless mourning speech and watched the outside lying fairly and quietly in the transparent box. In the afternoon, I was a few meters away from him outside the railings, watching him push into a box, the fire suddenly burned. At that moment, I fell on my knees and burst into tears like a storm; at that moment, I shed all the tears that I had not been able to shed before, and the cries around me were very loud, but I could not hear them, and I was buried by my own cries. I know, I have already faced the reality, that most painful grandfather, really, really, no longer.
Grandpa, he, left others with photographs, belongs to the memory between him and them, left to me, but it is the love that death can not take away, it is always the kind smile, it belongs to our eternal memory.
Five years later, I come to recall him and turn out all the memories hidden in my heart; to recall the past bit by bit; to recall what he taught me, helpful, not rewarding; to recall his quiet; to recall his red-roasted meat; to recall the blood-soluble affection in water, the love that will remain in my heart forever.

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